Ready Always

1 Peter 3:15

But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:

 

Why do I believe in God?  Why do I believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior?

 

I don’t believe out of fear.  For the whole of my life, I’ve never wanted to be a fool, to think that I was right about something and then find out that I was wrong.  I want the truth.  I always have and I always will.  That was why I became an atheist.  The idea of God seemed so obviously made up by human beings that I couldn’t think of continuing to try to have faith – unless I was afraid.  Was it fear that led me to want to believe in God?  The only way to find out was to give into my doubts, to give all of my skepticism sway and deny the very existence of God.  After I was sure that I had rid myself of all habits and tendencies toward belief in the supernatural, I discovered that I wasn’t afraid.  The fear of death and dying did not cripple my happiness, nor did the fear of living a puny and meaningless life take away my appreciation for life itself.  I would make up my own happiness and my own meaning – and that would be enough.  I didn’t need faith in God.  And I didn’t want faith in God.
 

But, then, everything changed.  Well, nothing changed in reality.  I simply became aware of the fullness of reality – simply and profoundly.  Infinity and eternity are real… the infinite and eternal Source is actual… and this is Present Presence beyond all telling, beyond words and images, beyond imagining.  I didn’t invent this.  We didn’t make up Absolute Being – It is.  Though I didn’t want this knowledge and fought against it, I couldn’t deny – without being a fool – that that which we call God is real, is true.  The truth is the truth.  One can’t run away from one’s feet.  That’s why I know that God exists.  Because I just know.  And the reason that I believe in God is that I love… I love life, always have and always will, with or without the knowledge of God’s existence – and so I know, I know that The Infinite/Eternal One who is the Author of Life is the Author of that which draws my love… Draws me, in creating me and in calling me toward.  So, “credo” – I give my heart, I believe in God.

 

I did not come to faith in Jesus Christ by knowing with certainty that Jesus of Nazareth is God Incarnate.  My knowledge of Jesus as the God-Man is not the undeniable kind of knowledge like I had when I discovered that “the ultimate reality that everyone calls God” exists.  There was a risk that becoming a Christian would make me a fool – I could be wrong about the Nazarene.  But… Just as contemplating silence had filled me with the awareness of the awesome Presence of God, truly “fear of the Lord”, so, too, contemplating the humility of God, most clearly expressed, manifested, in the Mystery of the Incarnation, yielded forth in me the same awe, the same “fear”.  It is not a fear to make one tremble in anxiety over one’s safety, rather it is a fear to make one tremble in awakening to one’s true reality in the mind of God.  Hard to explain… Anyhow, I freely chose to take the leap of faith.  “Credo”, I give my heart – I believe in Jesus Christ.  

 

The more that I learn about Christ, the more that I come to know Him by sharing my life, myself, with Him, the more that I discover that Christ is.  Always and everywhere is the Son of God, the Divine Word – Who was made flesh for my infinite and eternal joy.  God becomes a human being and sanctifies humankind – God believes in me, the Sacred Heart is given to me, and I am received within the Love that draws me.  I am fully and truly myself in the beautiful leap, in the faith, in the giving of my heart, my core, my soul, my whole and very being to Absolute Being Who is Love, to the One Who IS.

Christina Chase