Commending Ourselves to Every Man's Conscience

2 Corinthians 4:1-2

1.    Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;

2.    But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

 

If I present myself wholly to you, will you be kind?  If I am disarmed of every pretense, every protection, every barb, if I am stripped naked of all falsity, if I, fully vulnerable, in full knowledge of my vulnerability, am willing, ready and eager to give myself wholly in unabashed generosity, will you be open to receive?  Or will you stand there in front of me, affronted by my total lack of self-defense, my utter absence of craft or guile, and deny me acceptance into your razor guarded mind and your scarred and shrinking heart?

 

I am as tender as a bramble berry plucked from its vine, to be gladly taken in or to be so easily bruised and crushed.  I am as gentle as a tear that slips down raptured cheek, for mercy is my food and mercy is my word.  I am permeated all through with life pure and clean, I am held by life infinite and eternal, which is perfect love.  I have no need for a shell, no desire for a safeguard; I am here and I am real and I am altogether present, nothing but truth in all that I am.  I am true, I am truth.  Will you not know me?  I hear the secret beating of your heart, I see your inner nature, I feel the weight of your existence in the world, and all that I know is love for you.  I am dependent on mercy and I live it, suspended in the deep of the womb.  And you will not look into my eyes, and you will not listen to me speak, and you will not deign to feel my breath, because you will not recognize me, you will not admit truth into your survival.  You will deem me worthless and undesirable because I come to you so small, so contemptible in the ways of the world.

If you were honest and true, without manipulation or guile, if you’d always lived in a garden and never known the serpent’s bite, if the world was free of cruelty and pain, perhaps, then, you wouldn’t stand there affronted, so much grounded in yourself; perhaps, then you would be merciful and receive love… But, then, in that perfect scenario, there would be no need for mercy.  I wouldn’t be disarmed and stripped in order to open and heal your heart.  You would already know that I am there.  And you would love me too.

Christina Chase