With Grace

Colossians 3:16 KJV

 

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

 [This verse was taken from YouVersion.com, which I received, out of the blue, through an email that a friend sent to me.  The unexpectedness of the email inspired me to use the verse as my random Scripture.]

When we experience something good, something that brings us great joy, we want to share it with the people that we love.  Sometimes, it is simply the good feeling itself that we want to share.  Unfortunately, our instinct of generosity isn’t always met with appreciative reception.  Our loved one may have experienced something not so good and, so, may be experiencing sadness or anger.  Our joyful sharing is an annoying irritant to them, for what they want from us is not an account of the great thing that happened to us, but, rather, a listening ear that will receive their tales of bitter distress or a comforting shoulder to support their sobbings.  We, in the midst of our good feeling, will either continue to be generous and give them what they need, with our joy quietly in our hearts giving us strength, or we will resent the fact that they don’t want to share our joy and, irritated and annoyed by their bad humor, will turn away from them before our good feeling disappears or stay and be angered at them for taking away our joy.  How often have I, indeed, let the latter happen?  They say that misery loves company and sometimes it certainly does seem that people in foul moods will not rest until others around them, especially those who seem to be happy, feel miserable, too.

 

There are times, however, when I am able to continue my generous instinct and allow my joy, quietly kept in my heart, to guide me in kindness toward my suffering loved one.  These times are rare, I admit.  They happen when my joy is of a certain quality… or, perhaps we could say, when my joy is from a particular source.  When I am experiencing good feelings from something that is truly good, that goodness is not so easily broken.  That goodness not only washes over me, but also takes root within me, yielding forth more goodness.  What do I mean?  Well, if I’m happy because I just scored off the charts in an online game and I want to happily tell the news to my mother, only to find that she is preoccupied with her irritation at finding something undone that she had asked another person to do, then I will, seemingly nine times out of ten, become irritated with her irritation and admonish her for being so angry and unforgiving.  The other time out of that ten, I will turn around and go away from her, leaving her in her misery while I delight in my delight in my room by myself.  It is extremely rare for me to stay and listen to her kindly in these moments, because my joy is not safeguarded in my heart and able to give me wisdom.  It is a selfish kind of joy that, perhaps, doesn’t even deserve the name of joy.  A simple pleasure, indeed, but a self-centered one that is dependent upon “good feelings” and not goodness itself.  And, let’s face it, part of my wanting to share my happiness was also to share my success – that is, to brag about my cleverness and have her praise me, too.  Not receiving this ego-stroke from her, I get upset or I walk away.

 

If I’m in a very good place on that day that I achieve my high score, however, then I am more apt to be patient and kind.  If there is a deeper joy already in my heart that has nothing to do with the online game, then I can easily set aside my little moment of vainglory because I will recognize it as vainglory, as just a silly trifle in comparison to the deeper joy dwelling in my heart.  And from the depth of that true joy, I can draw up the sympathy and love that my mother needs and be a good listener.  Yes, I will lose the thrilling rush of excitement at my woo hoo achievement, but I will be no less joyful because of the loss.  Indeed, I may very well experience a deeper and richer sense of goodness, love and, therefore, joy in my heart that is springing up and active in my living relationship with another human being.  My gentleness in that moment might even be recognized by me as the simple and tender flower of divine grace, planted in the very core of my being by a loving God.  Christ teaches us that love is patient and kind, forbearing and forgiving, and ready to selflessly give in sacrifice for the other.  With this knowledge, we are able to live in faith, devoting ourselves to all that is good, true, and beautiful, while keeping the faith and praising God in the face of all that is miserable, false, and ugly, transforming these things in our love, which is of and from God.  For, when we encounter other persons in their anger, frustration or grieving, we are meant to share their burden and, through love – patience, understanding, and the generosity of a truly joyful heart – help them to see what is truly good and to lovingly repair what is truly broken.  Only with this deep sense of goodness, this song of grace in our hearts, can we ever truly be of help to anyone – can we ever truly be joyful, with the joy that has no end.