1
Corinthians 7:2-3
Nevertheless,
to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have
her own husband.
Let
the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife
unto the husband.
Every relationship into
which we enter is a sacred relationship, because it is through our
relationships that we commune with God. “Whatever
you do for the least of my brethren,” says the Lord, “you do for me.” This truth can be seen clearly in the
relationship of a husband and wife – and it can be distorted most easily in
this relationship as well.
For a man is willing to
lay down his bodily life for the woman he truly loves (as in the provider and
protector of her and her offspring) and a woman is willing to give the entirety
of her body to the man she truly loves (as in the developer and nurturer of him
and his offspring). So we are all called
to be for one another. Christ assumed
human nature and then laid down his life for us, his blood was shed and his
body given up for us, so that we may be redeemed. Through his love, we are able to be
transformed, transcending mere earthly existence, and lifted up into divine
life, life that never ends. Through
marriage, too, the man and the woman are able to be transformed, transcending
complementary bodily forms, and lifted up into the life of the soul in
communion with divine love. Supporting
one another as equals, respectful and responsible in their commitment to one
another, their lives are benevolent gifts to the other, willing to sacrifice
themselves for the other’s good in everyday life – this is how all the children
of God are meant to live with one another, for this is how God so loves us
through Christ Jesus.
Yet… marriage can also
show us how not to live. A marriage that
is not true marriage, that is not a self-sacrificing gift of love and
generosity, can show the selfishness and even cruelty of human beings. When a man unites with a woman, not for the
sake of unity and divine love, but for the sake of his own pleasure, he renders
the woman into an object to be used and even abused by him. “Domestic violence”, as a term, is not powerful
enough to truly describe the depravity, the sin, in this relationship. The desecration of a most sacred bond,
belittling and disfiguring an image of God in the person of someone for whom
love has been professed, is beyond violent.
It’s an evil that spreads beyond the domicile, infecting the family and
the world with selfish cruelty. And this
profanity is not only seen in physical abuse, but also in any abuse that treats
a woman or a man as a useful object for one’s own whims. If no legal crime is ever committed in a
marriage, crimes against God’s love can still be perpetrated, when a wife or
husband fails to truly love the other and to sacrifice for the other’s good. Likewise, when any of us looks upon another
human being only in terms of usefulness, we profane God’s image. Whenever we fail to give of ourselves in loving
service for another’s good, we fail to live in God’s love. Whenever we treat our own bodies as mere
instruments of pleasure, for ourselves and even for others, we desecrate our
true identities and fall into the self-centered life of ignorant belittlement
and drunken despair.
Benevolence is what is
needed. A benevolent God allows us to
choose freely in order that we may love truly and receive fully the benevolent
gifts of love from one another and from Eternal God, now and forever.
Christina Chase
Christina Chase
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