Pull Me Out Of the Net

Psalms 31:1-4

1.    In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness.

2.    Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for an house of defence to save me.

3.    For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name's sake lead me, and guide me.

4.    Pull me out of the net that they have laid privily for me: for thou art my strength.

I know what it’s like to be caught in the net of sin.  I know what it’s like to do what I, deep in my heart, don’t want to do, and thereby become ensnared in the chains of consequence.  I want to be free, I want to break the chains of enslavement to the flesh… but I am weak… the spirit may be willing, but the flesh is certainly weak.  And, sometimes… the spirit isn’t even all that willing.

 

I have made a vow.  No, I am not married and neither am I consecrated to a Religious Order, but, still, I have made a vow.  I have taken the leap of faith and given my heart, “credo,” to God.  My relationship with God is one of commitment and devotion to Him, through Christ Jesus, a loving surrender of self to be in union with Christ’s Sacred Heart and the Divine Way in giving myself to God.  Though most of my sentences thus far in this writing have begun with “I”, I know that I am not the beginning, I am not my own source, and neither am I the ultimate end – that is God.  In love I believe, I give my heart, my whole self, to God and I trust in God.  He is my salvation.  He is my Savior.  He is my rock.  He is my strength.  He is my hope…

 

And, so, with a contrite heart, repentant of my actions, fully aware of my weakness, my fallibility, my too often lack of love and fidelity, I turn to God who is my Rescuer, my Salvation, and God hears my penitential cry for mercy.  God does bow down His divine ear to me and hears my sorrow, hears my desire to be healed and made new.  God pulls me out of the snares of sin and stands me on His firm ground, to begin again, forgiven.  God invites me, calls me, to take refuge in Him to find my home, my strength and renewal, in His house, His fortress against all that would trap me, all that would weigh me down with the burden of unlove, the burden of selfishness.  God frees me and cleans me and gives me strength to try once more to walk in the ways of righteousness, the ways of love, faithfulness, and forgiveness.

 

And God wants me to be like Him and do the same for all of His beloved children.  And, yet… how often have I wanted people, even the people that I love, to suffer punishment for their wrongdoings, to hurt, to suffer, even to bleed?  Do I have no mercy in my heart?  If I have actually given my heart and placed my heart into the Sacred Heart of Jesus, into the endless font of mercy and love, then shouldn’t I, too, be merciful and loving?

 

God created everything out of nothing and, even out of darkness, God creates light; even out of despair, God creates hope; even out of wrongdoing, God creates right.  And, so, though I am a limited human being fraught with faults and failings, God loves me and teaches me in my weakness.  God takes pity on me.  From my own experience with sin, from my own falling down on my face in the ensnaring net of selfishness and infidelity, God, in saving me, shows me the beautiful strength and power of mercy, the unlimited rescue and goodness of love.  May I so love as God loves me.  May I, in His Spirit, lovingly strive to set other captives free.

Christina Chase

 

As Thou Art

1 Kings 21:36

Then said he unto him, because thou hast not obeyed the voice of the Lord, behold, as soon as thou art departed from me, a lion shall slay thee.  And as soon as he was departed from him, a lion found him, and slew him.

 

Instant gratification. 

We see our favorite candy bar in the checkout aisle at the grocery store and, even though it was not our intent or plan to purchase and eat that chocolate that day, we immediately want its deliciousness.  So, we buy it, unwrap it before the bagger has finished packing our last item, and eat it all up while loading the car, before we even drive away.  And, for those few minutes of time, we experience pleasure.  Unconsciously, we develop an understanding that feelings of desire can be instantly gratified with pleasing results and, so, the things that we want for ourselves we get for ourselves – no wondering, no worrying, no waiting.

 

When our monthly check on our bank account reveals a lower-than-expected dollar figure, we lament over how fast money disappears.  When our next visit to the dentist reveals a cavity in need of filling, we groan with dread of the impending pain and bill to pay.  And when our clothes start to fit a little too tightly on our bodies, we become upset and frustrated, wondering what lengths we’ll have to go to in order to lose some weight – a gym membership or that tedious new diet people are talking about?  A lottery win would solve our first problem.  A filling then and there to get it done and over with would help us at the dentist’s office.  And buying new clothes would cancel out our third problem.  Because we’re used to instant results and getting what we want.
 

The results of that impulsively acquired candy bar go beyond the immediate feelings of pleasure.  What if we experienced those consequences as instantly as we taste its deliciousness?  What if the candy bar cost three times as much and, as soon as we put it in our mouths, our teeth would hurt and buttons pop?  I’m guessing that we would think twice about grabbing the chocolate the next time we saw it beside the cash register.  And what if this was true about more than just edible treats?  What if the second we told a white lie to our employer, we got fired?  What if the first time we took our frustrations out on a loved one in unkindness and unfairness that dear person left us and never came back?  What if, in walking past someone who has fallen without assisting to pick him up, we found ourselves beaten in an alley by thugs with no one in a cold, selfish world answering our cries for help? 

 

In the Bible we hear stories of instant punishment.  When God is disobeyed, the earth opens up and swallows the wrongdoers or storms of fire rain down on the heads of the unjust.  This thought terrifies us, but also delights us, in a way.  For we understand the language of instant gratification.  We want to be able to get what we want, when we want it.  And we imagine God being like us in this – if He wants to smite us for our wickedness, then He will smite us cold, sending a lion to slay us or turning us into pillars of salt.  For this is the kind of instant gratification that we want against our enemies, against those who we see as hurting us or as standing in the way of our own glory.  But, though God, in His Divine love for us, reaches out to reveal Himself to us in the language that we understand, He is not as petty and impatient as we are.  Throughout time, God has led us by the hand like little children, teaching us in ways that developing humans are taught, with instant reactions to our actions so that our little minds can make the connections between cause and effect.  But, we do not remain undeveloped forever.  There comes a time (in history as well as in our own individual lives) when, if we are to be fulfilled as human beings, we must understand to the best of our abilities the wide range of connections, the vast consequences of every small act.  We are called by God to see that we are connected, in the present, to both our pasts and our futures and that we are connected, always, to one another.

 

Nothing exists in a vacuum of time.  Nor in a vacuum of space.  Everyone and everything relates to each other, is connected.  Like it or not, everyone and everything leaves a mark of some kind.  We are not little islands living lives of little bubbles of time.  No one is isolated or removed from the interweaving of reality, for life is whole.  And we are all inextricably linked to our one, common source that flows all through us – “the ultimate reality that everyone calls God.”[1]

Christina Chase

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[1] St. Thomas Aquinas

Exercise Lordship

Mark 10:42-45

But Jesus called them to him, and saith unto them, Ye know that they which are accounted to rule over the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and their great ones exercise authority upon them.

But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister:

And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all.

For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.

 

Here in the United States of America, the people form the government.  We choose representatives and elect officials to whom we give authority to establish and enforce laws.  We also give them the authority to develop and manage entities and programs to promote national security and to help the poor and the needy.  Those elected or appointed to government positions who have the most responsibilities nationally have higher statures than others – like the President, who is the chief executive officer of the federal government.  It is easy for a President of the United States, or for a Senator or member of the House of Representatives with extra clout, to see himself or herself as a person of great importance and great authority.  But no one in the government, not even the Commander-In-Chief, has any kind of authority except what the people have chosen to give.  We the people have placed the President and the members of Congress in their positions and have given them the responsibility of working on our behalf.  They are our servants.  They are not our masters.  And when any of them act with a kind of self conceit, as though they have all the answers, as though they are entitled to act the way they do, as though whatever they do should be acceptable to us because they are the ones doing it – well, then it becomes clear that they just don’t get it.  The one who is given the most authority and responsibility is the one who is the servant – they serve at the pleasure of the people.

 

With much disappointment, I consider the actions and words of congressional members and of the president as they are working through a federal shutdown and trying to keep our government from defaulting on its loans.  It no longer seems to be about a difference in opinion or ideas, but rather a simple difference in political parties.  Victory for them, it seems, is for the other party to be blamed for any bad things that happen.  In other words, our public servants in the federal government seem perfectly willing to keep their paychecks and benefits, to keep their jobs, while discontinuing the paychecks or even ending the jobs of the people that they are supposed to serve – as long as it looks like it’s entirely the fault of the guys from the other party.  And I say – Really??? 

 

It’s as though their job is to engage in a competition to see who is the greatest among them.  They are too busy pointing fingers and puffing themselves up to actually do the work that needs to be done in the government.  We did not elect them and we do not send tax money to pay their salaries in order for them to vilify a political party while raising their personal clout within their own political party.  True Independents can work just as hard for the American people as a Republican or Democrat – and maybe even better because they won’t waste time trying to suck up to their party leaders while denigrating the other side’s leaders and supporters.  Both sides are guilty of this juvenile behavior, make no mistake about it, and I’m sick of it!  And I’m not the only one.  But I’m not going to resort to name-calling and pointless ranting.  I’m reminded, instead, of the limitations of government itself.

 

We, the people, have become too complacent with our Democratic Republic.  We have fallen into the trap of those who want to be counted as among the greatest by seeing high-ranking officials in government as people separate from us, almost in a class above us.  Yes, I know that we talk smack about them and do a lot of finger-pointing and denigrating ourselves, but we seem to do it because we have fallen into the error of thinking that we need to choose sides.  Do you agree with the Republicans or the Democrats?  And if one chooses the Democratic Party, then the Republican Party is seen as a joke, a disgrace, a terrible plague.  If one chooses the Republican Party, then the Democratic Party is seen as a joke, a disgrace, a terrible plague.  It’s like we think we’re spectators at a football game, choosing sides, sending out chants, holding up signs – but not actually in the game.  But, not only is it vital to remember that the working of the federal government is not a sport or a game, it is also vitally important to remember that we are not spectators.  We are the leaders of our society.

 

In everything that we say and in everything that we do, we are setting an example, forming a path upon which others will walk.  And as they walk, they will shape that path as well.  We, the people, are the government, are the elected officials within the government, are those who have been given leadership roles in the government.  They are human beings just like us.  We are human beings just like them.  Next election, when the choices on my ballot are people who care more about their stature or their party than about the job that needs to be done, then I am going to write in the name of a person I know who is honest and kind, who is reasonable and mature, a person with integrity.  Because, if you think about it, the people who run for public office are the people who really think that they should be there – so we only get to choose from people who are already full of themselves.  Now, yes, I know that there are exceptions.  There has been and are some very good public servants who truly have the interest of the people at heart and who don’t resort to juvenile, bipartisan games no matter what the cost to their own stature or clout among the rest of them.  We need more people like that.  And perhaps the best way to start changing the government is by changing ourselves. 

 

Let’s lead by our own examples.  Let’s not make discussions of what’s going wrong in our nation’s Capitol all about who can make the best joke or most cutting remark about this party or that.  There are only 535 members of Congress, plus 1 president and 1 vice president – and there are over 314,165,191 people in the United States.  If the majority of us in our country devoted ourselves to being honest, reasonable, mature and selfless, then that small percentage of us who we send to work in the government will have a much better chance of acting the same way.  If we only take care of our own – our own selves or our own family members or our own political parties – then we should not expect our representatives to act differently.  The president, the senators, and the representatives are a reflection of the people – after all, the people become presidents, senators and representatives.  And now it’s like they’re holding a mirror up to us – and it isn’t pretty, is it?

 

The only real and true greatness comes through humble and selfless service to others.  If we the people don’t know that and act accordingly, then the government we form will be likewise ignorant – and selfish.

Christina Chase

Members One of Another

Romans 12:4-5

For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office:

So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.

We often think that the little things we do, the small lives that we live, have no great impact on the world.  And perhaps we don’t… most people will not be like a tsunami, altering an entire shoreline in just a few minutes of time.  But… that great and powerful wave is made up of individual drops of water.  Without tiny drops of water, there is no tsunami.  Without small, individual lives, there is no great and mighty force.  When one person unites intentions with another person… and then another… and then another… the largeness of their impact on the world multiplies.  Together we are strong. We may think that our one drop is of no consequence, and certainly our one drop is not the one that did the ultimate deed – because the ultimate deed is not done by any single drop.  All are needed together.  If one defects or strays or stays behind lazily, then others may follow, as is the course of things in life, and then what?  The strength is diminished, the impact altered irrevocably.

And even one tiny drop alone has an impact – though it may not be noticed by the world… or even by the drop itself.  One single drop dislodges one single grain of sand on the shore – and the shore is changed.  One person, fully alive, can move a person sized island.  For even one atom, well directed, can change other atoms.  At the atomic level, this is change profound.  Just so, one person’s thought, well directed, can change other persons’ thoughts.  At a personal level, this change is likewise profound.  It should never be taken lightly.  One person’s thought aimed outward at another can be as useful as clean energy… or as destructive as a bomb.

As we are all connected one to another, like members of one body, we each have the ability to affect another and, so, the whole.  It takes the entire human body to willfully move one finger – the brain, spinal cord, nerves, muscles, tendons, ligaments, and even the respiratory and circulatory systems are needed for this movement, the immune system to allow the body to be healthy enough for such movement, and the bones to hold together and the skin to stretch.  Not to mention the imagination and will to inspire and initiate the movement of that one little finger.  One tiny and seemingly insignificant act of kindness to another human being is not only good because it may inspire another such act – it can actually change the entire day of that one person, allowing him or her to be open to receive something of great impact that he or she would not have been able to receive otherwise.  It can be life altering.

A small, seemingly menial act, like helping a man clean up the coffee he spilled himself, can remind that man that there is kindness and gentleness in the world, that he isn’t left alone to fend for himself in a cruel and hostile world, as he had been feeling.  And then, when his estranged wife calls him an hour later, hinting again that she may like to talk things over and try to heal their relationship, he will not be defensive, like he usually is, and he, refreshed in believing in goodness without even remembering why, will be moved to respond gently and generously.  And the one who helped the man clean up his spilled coffee that day will never know that a family was eventually healed and children returned to a stable and loving home.

One drop in an ocean.  One member in a body entire.  This is the truth of one, small human life, profoundly powerful.

Christina Chase

 

A Narrow Pit

Proverbs 23:27-28

For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit.

She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men.

 

(Yikes.)

A woman is not an object.  She is neither to be possessed nor used, bought nor sold.  Any that should seek a woman for his own sake, as a treasure box for his own wealth or a vehicle for his own pleasure, will never be able to dig deep enough to find what he wants, will always be thirsty in his confined pursuit for satisfaction.  It’s a never-ending maze in a darkness that blinds, deafens and numbs those who repeatedly bump against the walls.

 

This trap is set by selfish desire and ensnares all who indulge.  And the trap is not avoided by proper obedience to rules of conduct or any willed restraint for fear of losing health, wealth, or sanity.  A woman can be objectified without lying a hand on her, without coming into any contact with her flesh.  From afar, minds dig into her, pulling piece by piece, thoughts salivating over the stripped carcass of a meal.  And no guilt and no punishment sets anyone free.

 

A human person is a wondrous creature of flesh and spirit married as one.  There is no disjointing of one from the other.  As glass is a fusion of earth and fire, so, too, a human – a man, a woman – spun from the hands of God.  To objectify a person is to shatter both humans, both the luster and the target of lust, it is to un-create, to destroy, that whom was created by love.  With and in love a human comes into being and only with and in love can one be fulfilled.  To heed anything other than love, to aim lower than the heart, is to be stuck in a ditch, to flounder in a narrow pit.  For the heart of the person is the core of her being, the essence of her reality, the seat of love, the seat of God, wherein human and divine abide as one.

 

God invites life to dwell within the matter God created, an invitation of love.  God’s mind is for the other, God’s gift of self is unconditional and complete.  Generosity… Compassion… Respect.  To truly love is to love as God loves, for we are only able to love because God first loves us.  To love a woman, then, is to see her and not merely to look at her – and to will to be seen by her.  And in this vision, one sees God’s precious beloved one in whom dwells – not pleasure, possessions, power, or honor – but the universe.  Not for the sake of the one who sees, but for the sake of the one who is… for the Other.

Christina Chase

They Went Out

Mark 6:12

And they went out, and preached that men should repent.

How do you recognize when you have done something wrong, something that you should not have done?  Is it by the consequences of your action?  I know that, sometimes, when I say something rude or a little mean to a loved one, he or she will look at me in such a way that I know I shouldn’t have said what I did.  When I see the hurt I have caused or – more usually and powerfully – when I hear the hurt and anger in the response pouring out on me, then I am sorry.  Then I wish that I could take back what I said and, since that is impossible, I apologize and seek mercy.

But… Is something only wrong if it directly causes something unwanted to happen to me?  What if my loved one is able to disguise the hurt I have caused, or keep their anger or disappointment in check?  What if I don’t “feel” the unkindness or rudeness of my words or actions in the responses they generate?  Will I still be able to recognize my wrongdoing?  If I yell at someone who is confused and slow at an intersection a mean and dirty name, blaring my horn and flipping my finger, will I feel sorry about my actions later?  If the person doesn’t abruptly jump out of the vehicle and chase me with a gun, will I even think for a second that I shouldn’t have let my anger and impatience cause me to go on the attack?  What is it that encourages me to be kind and discourages me from being mean?  If the answer is merely a desire for reward and a fear of punishment, then, surely, I am living at a very low level of existence, a very base way of life.

 

I’ve never wanted to be ruled by infantile desires and fears.  “When I was a child I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things.”  (1 Corinthians 13:11.)  This doesn’t mean that suddenly I became a very grave and sober person.  It means that I grew and I learned – and when we learn certain things, we necessarily become changed.  For example, when my youngest nephew was a little less than two years old, he learned to call my father by a name that he could recognize and to which he would respond.  The first moment this happened, his little face lit up with joy – and it was like his little world had become new.  He grew closer in his relationship with his grandfather then, wanting to follow him everywhere and do everything with him.  And his grandfather, in turn, perhaps became a little more attentive.  You could see the little boy’s increase in intimacy and affection.  He had learned something and his life was forever different.

 

As another example, once I learned numbers and could easily do addition and subtraction, I could no longer claim ignorance in monetary matters.  If something cost twenty dollars and I only had ten to spend, then I knew that I couldn’t afford it.  When I learned why vegetables are healthy, I could no longer avoid eating them without knowing that I wasn’t doing the best that I could for my health.  In the same kind of way, when I learned about the true depth and beauty of love, I couldn’t so easily take loving relationships for granted… or ignore the power of God Incarnate sacrificing Himself on the Cross.  And in knowing how much God loves me, knowing what divine love is… I grew closer in my relationship with God and with the people God has placed in my life by wanting to love them likewise.  It’s like God called out to me by my true name, which allowed me to recognize my true self and, so, to be able to live truly.  And to live truly is to truly love.  He knows my name and I know His and this new knowledge changes everything.

Christ Jesus said that whoever welcomes one little child welcomes Him (Matthew 18:5).  This is not because of the idea that a child is innocent and pure, but rather because a child has nothing to give in return.  In human life, and in Jesus’s historical time especially, a person will invite people to his house knowing that those people will invite him to theirs in return.  Like we often do in giftgiving: if a person gives us a gift, then we give one to them.  But if we know that someone will not be giving us anything for Christmas, then we often don’t give them anything either.  Greater is it to give a gift to someone without expecting anything in return.  In the same way, to receive a child into one’s house is to take on a responsibility for that child’s well-being.  Though the child can be cute and sweet, he or she can be a burden more than a boon.  Yet, we are to receive everyone lovingly, without desiring any reward for ourselves.  And, so, to welcome Jesus into our lives, to truly receive him into our hearts, we must not do so based on an expectation of eternal reward in heaven.  Yes, Christ makes promises to those who love him, but – to love him is to give ourselves to him freely and unconditionally – not for our sakes, but for his.  That’s true love.

I have discovered that the “carrot and stick” approach is not the best way to teach people about Jesus.  Making people afraid to break a rule lest they suffer eternal hellfire does not foster divine love.  But… making people calculate the ways that they can be rewarded with eternal paradise doesn’t foster divine love, either.  My English teachers always told me, “Show, don’t tell.”  And that is precisely what God does through His Son, Our Lord, Jesus Christ.  God gives us His Holy Word through Scripture – through words, by telling.  But, He also gives us His Holy Word made Flesh through Christ – through actions, by loving.  In much the same way, Jesus’s disciples went out and preached so that others could recognize their own wrongdoing: untruth, unlove.  And they did this, not only by words, by telling, but also by actions, by showing.  They showed others what true love is, what divine love is, in Jesus Christ, and loved them as He loved.  Then, knowing how God intimately loves them, they were able to truly repent, to truly turn away from selfishness and sin and fully embrace truth and love.

Like Saint Francis said, “Preached the Gospel always; use words when necessary.”  Love is the way… the truth and the life.

Christina Chase

Graven Image

Exodus 20:4

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth:

Who is like unto God?

“The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” we are told in the Hebrew Testament of Scripture.  And St. Paul tells us that this Fear of the Lord is a gift of the Holy Spirit.  But is it right to fear God?  For God is love, so why would anyone fear an all loving deity?  This fear, however, is not the kind where we walk around covering our heads, fearing that the Lord will smite us if we even think an unkind thought.  It is, however, awful in that we are filled with awe when thinking of God, when fully aware of who God is and who we are. 

 

Before any human being, before any tree, reptile, or bit of living slime came into existence, GOD IS.  The Unmoved Mover, the Uncaused Cause, the Uncreated Creator, Who is “the ultimate reality that everyone calls God.”[1] [emphasis added.]  And we are not God.  We exist only because God loves us and chooses to bring us into being – loves us so much, that He creates us in His divine image with spiritual souls, intelligence, imagination, and free will.  Though we are given this great privilege, we are nothing without God and completely dependent upon God, Who is the infinite, eternal Creator and Master of the universe.  To know this, then, to know our place in the universe relative to the Infinite/Eternal One, is to truly have a Fear of the Lord – filled with tremulous awe, down-on-your-knees wonder and adoration – the only way in which we can begin to have true wisdom.

 

There is, of course, no earthly image that can fully depict the limitlessness of God.  There are no words that we can use to precisely and completely describe who God is with all of God’s attributes.  The One that we call God is infinite and cannot fit into the workings of our earthly brains, tongues, ears, eyes, or fingers.  If we truly had a Fear of the Lord, then, perhaps, we could appreciate this truth and live our lives accordingly.  But, we are creatures of the earth and we are comfortable with earthly things.  We understand strength when we see an ox pull ten times its weight.  We understand gentleness when we feel a tender caress on our cheeks.  We understand “good” in the sweetness of ripe fruits and the beauty of healthy flowers and flesh, as we understand “bad” in the bitterness of poison and the ugliness of a body beaten to death.  And we seek to understand God in these earthly ways.  But, no thing is like God.

 

When we want to fulfill the divine image in which we have been created, when we want to do godly things, it is wrong to seek the strength of mighty beasts or the beauty of exotic blossoms.  It is in finding the beauty and strength within us, spiritually, the health and goodness of our souls, that we come nearer to God.  Spirit and truth.  This does not satisfy the hunger of our eyes, ears and other organs for a material focus for the whole of our worshiping selves.  Too often, however, we labor for that which is not food, that which cannot satisfy our whole selves because it is merely material, merely earthly, and not the fullness of Creation.  No creature is better than the Creator – the First comes first, always and everywhere, or everything is out of order. 

 

Our hearts desire what our hands cannot make, what our eyes cannot see.  Spirit and Truth… To grow from the inside out, to know that there is transcendence – transcendent love, strength, beauty, goodness – beyond the limits of what we can see, hear, smell, taste and touch… To know that we know only in part, that the glass is dark, the light is veiled, is to admit that our lives, the entirety of our beings, the entirety of the universe, rests within the will of the Infinite/Eternal One, Who is beyond all imagining… The One Who Is, Was, and Ever Will Be.

Christina Chase

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[1] St. Thomas Aquinas