Sunday, January 20, 2013

The Earth Is Full

Psalms 33:4-5
4.      For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
5.      He loveth righteousness and judgment: the earth is full of the goodness of the LORD.


The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord;
the reality of being is truth
and truth comes forth from the Lord, the Source
Who opens His Mouth and utters His Word,
the Word that is the power of creation, the power of life,
the power of reality: truth.

All that flows from the Source is alive in the truth, is true, lives truth;
but any who deny the way, fight the current, though they are alive because of the truth,
do not live truth, are not righteous, and so cannot fully receive the goodness of the Lord.
For creation overflows
with the goodness of the Lord uttered forth by his Word
and all who are created in the Image of the Lord are made to overflow
with the beauty of this bounty. 
Yet, if those creatures do not image the Lord, do not receive the truth of the reality of being,
and so do not live, wholly and willfully, in the flow of the Word,
then they have absented themselves from the fullness of the goodness of the Lord
-- as they absent themselves from the earth, from truth, from the reality of being --
and so from the fullness of being Images of God, which is loving
truth and the fullness of the good.

All of God's works are done in truth: God does not lie.  The Lord speaks only the Word, which is truth, which is goodness.  Judge rightly what is denial and what is done in union with the truth, in the fullness of love, which is the order of the divine.

       ~Christina Chase

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Uttereth

Proverbs 10:18
18. He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool.


Soft and malleable,
muscular, taut and loose,
tongue and lips, throat and lungs:
The working of speech is slippery,
the breathed soundwaves a moment's energy quickly dissipated.
And yet... is there no finer fatal sword?
Is there no sharper-toothed bite?
Is there no piercing projectile of greater pain?
"Guilty" to the innocent
"Unworthy" to the heart
"Unwanted" to the soul
.

Words are formed easily
by people, who blow smoke and misery with each pronunciation,
using the tender lips and agile tongue to obfuscate truth,
thinking themselves clever with a smile.
And yet... fools they be.
For what is a moment's wave quickly dissipated to truth? 
Men can be blinded and lulled, their bodies
of malleable matter and temporal energy give in, give out,
but the infinite eternity of truth is unchangeable. 
The breathed words pass through
and leave no mark, no trace. 
The soul does not live in the wet airways and dark, flickering synapses, no.
...The soul abides...
homed by truth unchanging and unfooled.
All are known here, all beloved, all enfolded;
Undisturbed
by the malicious mumblings
and petty prattle of soft tissue putrefied
on the last day.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Swallowing a Camel


Matthew 23:23-24
23. Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.
24. Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.


The recent shooting massacre at a Newtown Connecticut elementary school has rekindled the political debate over gun control laws.  This is a natural and reasonable reaction.  It is painfully difficult to imagine 20 little children being killed indiscriminately by piercing projectiles, tearing into their fragile young bodies amid terror and screams.  The suddenness and finality of those gunshots coming, as it would seem, from out of nowhere, overwhelms our senses -- this is beyond human, out of human scale and, in thinking about it, we, like the children, scurry for some place to hide.  Right now, for us, that place to hide is behind legal bans on assault style weapons. 

The ease with which a young man can kill so many frightens us so that we seek to take the ease away from others.  But... what of the desire?  Why would a young man WANT to kill so many innocent little children?  Why would a young man want to kill perfect strangers in a movie theater or a shopping mall?  Why would any young man want to murder his fellow human beings and then murder himself?  There is something wrong here.  Something beyond human, out of human scale; there is something broken and damaged to such a degree that an individual human person is capable of committing a senseless, atrocious and horrifying act.  This is what should terrify us.  And it does.  It terrifies us so that our minds become paralyzed and we don't know what to do.  We don't understand this desire to kill little five and six year old children.  We don't understand why anyone would choose to deliberately murder over and over and over and over again and again and again and again.... and, so, we look for something easier, something that we can understand.  Guns are mechanical devices that humans have invented.  They are bought, sold, manufactured and destroyed.  If we get rid of them and the terrifying image of lethal bullets flying indiscriminately, then our apprehension will decrease, our fears will calm down, and we will believe that we have control.  Gun control.  That is how we end violence.

But, of course, it is not.  Politicians and talking heads are arguing about what guns citizens should rightfully be able to own and what guns they should not, how much ammunition is too much ammunition and what gun permits should look like; they discuss what kinds of ratings should be placed on video games and what kinds of control can legally be put on the gaming and movie industries -- and meanwhile, no one cares about the young man, somewhere in America, whose mind is so damaged, whose thinking is so broken, that all he wants to do is taste as much death as possible before he dies.  He is the loaded weapon beyond human scale.  What are we doing about him? 

Every child in America has 10 years of mandatory schooling -- the vast majority of them in public, government run schools.  We want police officers at every school, police officers armed with guns.  But, what about psychologists?  What about counselors that are actually trained as counselors that may be able to spot the sociopath before he does violence?  While we periodically check our school children for lice, scoliosis and hearing and vision deficiencies, why don't we periodically check them for psychological health?  Mental illness is a severe problem that none of the politicians or talking heads are seriously discussing.  We as a people are not moving forward in finding ways to deal with psychopaths and sociopaths and the plain old mentally ill. 

Suicide among the young is always frightening.  In the last several years, we have seen teenagers and pre-teens take their own lives after being bullied.  We say that the bullies are the problem -- and that is certainly reasonable to say and to think.  All of our national conversations and legislative acts have been aimed at controlling the actions of the bullies.  Yet, again, we see in these terribly sad stories the lure of death -- young people that want to die.  They see death as a good thing, as an answer to a problem.  What are we honestly doing about that? 

Mental illness has many forms and they all need to be handled as early as possible.  All people begin as children, children in the care of their parents -- and children in the care of public schools.  How well are we raising human beings when we ignore mental illness? Are we truly trying to help equip people to deal with the real problems of real life -- like loneliness, isolation, self-loathing, jealousy, rage etc.?  Or are we merely trying to ensure that they aren't equipped with guns?  Surely, we must make sure that we are not "blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel."

Thursday, January 10, 2013

All Manner: a memory

Matthew 4:23-24
23. And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all manner of sickness and all manner of disease among the people.
24. And his fame went throughout all Syria: and they brought unto him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases and torments, and those which were possessed with devils, and those which were lunatick, and those that had the palsy; and he healed them.


I have always been diseased.  Raised as a Catholic in the time of televangelists, one big question was always there, hanging all around: why won't Jesus heal me?  I never specifically asked that question in my mind or to anyone -- it was just there.  How can a child who is unable to walk not hear the stories of Jesus healing the lame and telling the paralytic to rise up and walk and not wonder?

When I was about six years old, my father took me and my sister to a healing prayer service in Manchester with Father Diorio, who was known to bring about healing.  (My mother had a serious back problem at that time and couldn't come with us.)  During the service, I imagined that God was telling the priest different peoples names -- as some televangelists claimed -- and those people would come up to the front of the church and be healed by him.  And I remember looking up at the rafters of Ste. Marie's and hoping God would say my name.  But, he didn't.  After the service, I remember sitting outside the building and my father comforting my sister as she cried in the dark.  Was she crying for my mother?  For me?  What I do remember is thinking then that there was something wrong with the way some people thought God worked.  I had heard that if you are a good person and you had enough faith, then God would heal you.  But, I was not the kind of child to think that there was something wrong with me.  I knew that I was not an extremely good child and I was sure that my faith could be stronger... but I wasn't sure that God was supposed to heal me.  I mean, I didn't think that faith was some kind of formula, some kind of magic spell to right what was wrong.  Maybe what was most important to God was not that I could walk or couldn't walk.  Maybe it was okay to be crippled.  To be diseased.  Maybe that was not a terrible wrong that needed to be righted in the eyes of God.  Not because God was mean or uncaring... but because I was beautiful just the way I was.

It took me a long time to sort through this question and to arrive at some kind of answer.  I've been through quite a journey in my search for the truth.  But, one thing that I've never doubted is the beauty of the natural world.  Life is a good.  My animosity toward Christianity first arose when I was led to believe by well-meaning people that Christians didn't think like that.  If Christians can only see me as someone "taken with divers diseases and torments" in need of faith in Jesus's healing -- then I certainly didn't want to be a Christian.  On the other hand, from a more Roman Catholic viewpoint, if Christians saw me as one of the littlest of the little ones, closer to God because of my disease -- well, I didn't much care for that way of thinking, either.  Basically, I think that the question of why is there natural suffering in the world can be answered well in two ways.  The natural world is not perfect because it is not God Godself.  And, as Robert Frost says in his poem, "We dance round in a ring and suppose, But the Secret sits in the middle and knows."

For me, now, when I think about Jesus's great mission to heal the sick, I think about the passage of Scripture when he quietly leaves the crowd waiting to be healed and the disciples find him by himself, praying.  They want him to go back and heal the people, but he tells them that he must keep moving and spreading the word of God.  This tells me that the physical state of the person is not what is most important in the eyes of God -- not what is most important to Divine purpose and eternal truth.  The sharing and spreading of knowledge and love -- knowing God and loving as God loves -- that's all that really matters.  And matter, our physical world and our physical states, is most material to that end -- whatever shape or strength in which the matter comes.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Take No Thought

Matthew 6:31-33
31. Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32. (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.


I might be having surgery.  My gynecologist wants to remove a uterine fibroid, warning that, if she doesn't, well... basically I might bleed to death.  Nice and scary doctor talk.  The problem is that I have severe scoliosis and, with my SMA and restricted lung disease making intubation unpalatable to me, spinal anesthesia could be very tricky.  The choice to have surgery is not a no-brainer by any means, so I have to make a decision.  And I've been praying that I'll make the right one.

My big question to God is, "What shall I do?"  Perhaps, however, I'm being over solicitous about the survival of my body.  God knows what I need to live my life and God will provide.  Is that not what Scripture tells us?  And yet... I do wonder... is God providing me with surgery so that I can live my life as He intends?  Or, should I leave all of this completely in His hands and deal with the fibroid naturally?  This is the first time that I've ever thought that it would be easier to be a Christian Scientist.  But, I can also see that, perhaps, I'm missing the point of Scripture.  Instead of wondering what I should do for my body and asking God to show me the right answer, I should wonder at the Mystery and majestic beauty of God and ask Him to open me up to His ultimate plan for me.

My life should certainly not be about when or how I will die.  Life is about living.  If I immerse my mind and spirit in the infinite wellspring of Divine Presence, Divine Beauty and Love, perhaps, then, all the little turns in life will be made clear.  For first, obviously, is existence and then, second, is material movement and all matters of the physical world.  To surrender and let myself be united, at one, with the Eternal Source of Being in my thoughts and prayers -- that is surely the beginning, the first order of things.  I have no food, no drink, no body to clothe, without first my soul and the outpouring power of God's creative love.  Let me rest on that, truly think of that... ponder that... gnaw upon that.  And everything else will come after, as fruit proceeds from the submerging of the withdrawn seed.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Wait On Him

Mark 3:9-12
9.      And he spake to his disciples, that a small ship should wait on him because of the multitude, lest they should throng him.
10. For he had healed many; insomuch that they pressed upon him for to touch him, as many as had plagues.
11. And unclean spirits, when they saw him, fell down before him, and cried, saying, Thou art the Son of God.
12. And he straitly charged them that they should not make him known.


St. John the Baptist said, when telling people that he was not the Messiah, "... among you stands one whom you do not know...", referring, of course, to the true Messiah, Jesus Christ.  (John 1:26).  Even as a multitude of people pressed upon Jesus, later in his ministry, though they sought to be healed by him, they did not know him.  "Unclean spirits" fell before him on seeing him and cried out that he was the Son of God -- but he charged them not to make him known.  For, human beings didn't really know him.  Though his reputation for healing spread far and wide and drew thousands to him, they did not really come to Him or for Him.  They came for the miracles that they could get from Jesus without even knowing (and perhaps not even caring) who he was.

Are we Christians like that?  Are we interested only in what we can get from Jesus, from calling upon his name?  Do we make the effort to truly KNOW Him?  As Christians, we say that he is the Son of God.  But is that just another part of the formula to us?  What does it really mean to us that Jesus is the Son of God -- God from God, Light from Light, True God from True God -- and all the other things that we profess about him?  Sure, we can describe him... but does that mean that we know him?  Or, with our creeds, prayers and practices, are we merely pressing upon him, nearly threatening to throng him with what we want for ourselves?

As I examine myself to see if I'm guilty of this, I'm asking myself if I ever fall before Jesus -- not in petition, but in true surrender, in full recognition of my unworthiness before him.  Like the disciples on Mount Tabor: upon seeing Jesus transfigured, "a bright cloud overshadowed them" and, hearing the voice of God, "... they fell on their faces, and were filled with awe."  (Matthew 17:5-7).  Do I adore Christ Jesus, Incarnate God, and let the cloud of Divine Mystery "overshadow" me?  Do I fall before Him and become filled with awe?  In that adoration, that surrender, in that ecstasy of unknowing, I come exquisitely close to fully KNOWING Him.  And... when I minister to another human being in selfless love, surrendering myself to Christ Jesus, giving myself to Him in, with, and through the other... then I do know Him.  For whatever we do to the littlest ones who stand among us, we do to Him.  (Matthew 25).  I recognize Him, I adore Him, I follow Him and minister to Him, I do His will and I love Him, truly, intimately, with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind, and with all my strength.  (Mark 12:30).

Christianity: I can't be in it for myself.  So, next time I want to press upon Jesus with my petitions, I will try to remember to forget what I think I know -- and let Him press into and overshadow me.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

That Ye Be

Matthew 7:1
1.      Judge not, that ye be not judged.

A human being is a lifetime --
not a tattoo, an accent, a smell, a careless word, a thoughtless deed.
No single action or event defines a person, drawing an outline
into which the person must always be pushed in to fit.
A person is boundless, for the soul can not be pinned down and tagged, shelved
into categories in pullout drawers.  Judgment is narrow.  It points
to this act and that intent.  It can speak factually about the matters of a moment --
but it cannot probe into the infinite depths of being.  It cannot know
the true love of a human heart... the true pain.
We see what issues forth with no regard for what lies beneath:
a human being just like me.
Or, perhaps... that's the problem.