Setteth Him On a Pinnacle

Matthew 4:5-7

5.    Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple,

6.    And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.

7.    Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

How tempting is it to ask for a sign?  “Lord, if you are really all-powerful, and if you truly love me, then please protect me from harm.”  And when harm comes upon us, we may wonder what we did wrong or why we bother believing in miracles, which we start thinking of as fairy tales. We may doubt the very existence of a loving, omnipotent God.  It’s not like we asked for a large sum of cash or something likewise self-indulgent.  We simply asked that God keep us, His beloved ones, safe.  Isn’t that what a loving father would do and isn’t God supposed to be our Loving Father?

 

I remember when I started the first grade of school.  Because I was wheelchair-bound, I was different than the other kids and more dependent.  I was used to my family members being close by my side and now I would have to spend the whole day without them.  My father was able to take some time from work to ease me into the change.  He came with me the first couple of days of school – there, but not too nearby.  Then, it came time for him to leave me.  It was very difficult for me, I remember being with him and the principal in her office and crying and crying.  I didn’t want him to leave.  I didn’t want to be there all day without anyone that I loved.  I was scared and suffering… But he didn’t stay.  My father left me there.

 

And, of course, he should have.  My father did exactly the right thing, what was truly best for me.  It didn’t take me too long to make friends and, soon, I felt very much at ease in school and liked being there.  Being a child, I had felt that harm had come upon me, something too difficult for me to bear.  But, being more mature than I, my dad was willing to let me suffer because, ultimately, that suffering would lead to something really good for me, something that I would truly enjoy and for which I would be grateful.  He saw something that I, at the time, couldn’t see.  Although I wept for the situation to change, and he had the power, he did not grant me the change – precisely because he loved me.

 

If there is such a difference between what a child sees and what an adult sees, imagine the difference between what a limited human being sees and what infinite, omniscient God sees.  Although the illness that we are suffering may seem too difficult to bear and we weep and beg for it to change, God may not grant the change but, rather, allow the illness and the suffering that goes with it, knowing that, through this situation, we will be able to receive something good, something truly wonderful that we will enjoy and for which we will be grateful.  I know that, for me, this can be extremely hard to fathom sometimes.    As God Godself lies beyond the grasp of my physical senses, I may become overwhelmed by my sensations of pain and grief and doubt whether God even exists.  For my mind might think, surely, if God was real and really loved me, He would relieve my suffering now and get me out of this terrible situation.  Doubt and fear will beset me in the midst of my woe.  This has happened to me before… And, when the physical suffering is passed, I can see more clearly what I have gained by going through it.  Inner strength, compassion for others, calm in the midst of chaos, patience and gentleness are just some of the gifts hidden inside sorrowful and pain inflicting situations.  We can’t always see the truly good things – but God can, and wants the best for us.

 

It is ungrateful to think that God will always protect me from harm.  One day, of course, I will die – and even this suffering is a passage, a way to something else.  I should not, however, look for harm on my own, for this would be like testing God’s promise to bring something beautiful out of something ugly.  In the Bible, it is said that there will be signs that follow believers – like safely handling serpents.  But, is it not ungrateful to think that God will always protect me from poisonous venom and to prove it by handling venomous snakes needlessly?  To live my life in love is my reason for being.  And, yes, sometimes love hurts.  I am willing to suffer if it will truly benefit someone I love, this is part of life, the reality of love.  God knows.  Sometimes, my suffering even benefits me.  And I trust that God will see us through what comes our way when we surrender in love and gratitude – not when we test and look for signs, for then we do not truly love.

Christina Chase